"No," said Darcy, "I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding--certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever."
(I LOVE Matthew Rhys lol)
I love this quote because it addresses the biggest issue of the novel (obviously) which is misunderstandings. It becomes clear that Darcy had good intentions and Elizabeth misunderstood him greatly. Their relationship is deep because of this. My question is, does it take a rift or misunderstanding for a relationship to be 'valid'? As in, is the impulsive passionate love between Romeo and Juliet just as valid as the long and flourishing love of Elizabeth and Darcy?
And in a larger sense, does it speak about the misunderstandings we ALL have in our own lives? Perhaps the larger picture is that we all enter human contact with misunderstandings, Austen is brilliantly able to show us the effects of misunderstandings through Elizabeth and Darcy.
ReplyDeleteI think the love in Romeo and Juliet is a much more immature, lust, starry eyed kind of love than the love of Pride and Prejudice. I don't believe in love at first sight, and the fact that Romeo and Juliet sacrifice so much for this brand new love proves their age and immaturity to me. With Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, I don't think misunderstandings make a relationship "valid," rather, it's what pushes a relationship and gives it the opportunity to go deeper. Relationships are about learning from one another, accepting one another, and they are work and sacrifice--the love between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy has a much more mature grasp of this rather than the love between Romeo and Juliet.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that Elizabeth and Darcy have a more mature relationship than Romeo and Juliet. We've all hear the cliche that a relationship isn't serious until you've traveled together (or dealt with money problems, or anything else that could put strain on a relationship). In this case, the misunderstandings may not be what has validated the relationship, but perhaps the reaction to those misunderstandings has.
DeleteI do think that relationships have to weather difficulties to be real. That goes for friends as well as lovers or spouses. We have all had a friend in our childhood (hopefully more so than in adulthood) who drops you the first time there is any kind of misunderstanding or disagreement.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the things that makes this novel satisfying is that it is about taking that place of misunderstanding as a starting point - as something you can grow from and learn from rather than just being an end point from which there is nowhere to go. The reason this novel feels as real and true today as it did when it was written is because this remains a truth. Even if some of the novel comes across as "rich people problems" (because let's face it, even if Jane and Lizzy had lived out their lives without marrying Bingley and Darcy, they were still way better off than many of the people in their village who lived on a subsistence farm!), this remains a situation we can all relate to.
The love of Romeo and Juliet is present day lust. Love at first sight. They did not really know each other. However, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy grow closer together as the novel progresses. They view each other for what they are, versus their initial bad first impressions. Bad first impressions do not make or break anyone, they can be moved with time.
ReplyDeleteThinking about the differences between Elizabeth and Darcy's love versus Juliet and Romeo's love, they really don't seem comparable. But what I do think is interesting is maybe applying the Romeo and Juliet perspective to Lydia's relationship with Wickham. It's not the same, of course, because it's so one-sided. However, her willingness to make sacrifices for a brand new love, as Emily articulated for R&J, is what is most revealing to her age and immaturity. In both stories, we're getting a cautionary tale against casting off family in pursuit of young love.
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